Prom Dress Season: Mission Accomplished

I would like to thank Meriah’s friend Alexis for suggesting FANCY SCHMANCY     as a place to look for a prom gown. When dealing with a plus-sized teen, dress shopping can be heart-breaking.

Not today, it wasn’t.

It almost was. There were few size 20 gowns. We found three for her to try on. The first two, we couldn’t get the zippers up. She almost didn’t try on the last one, but I asked her to. It fit perfectly in the bust and waist. It does need to be shortened. Once we get her shoes, we can get that taken care of. She also got earrings. Passed on the bracelet. The dress came with attachable shoulder straps, one of which we are turning into a choker.

Mission accomplished. My hair isn’t white, neither of us have ulcers, Nick isn’t complaining about the price (Did I mention the dress was on clearance?), and there is no feeling on ‘settling’, since the color and style sit her very much indeed.

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Life Immitating Art?

So, I am currently reading “Chain of Command” by Casper Weingberger and Peter Schweizer. It came out in 2005. I won’t say anything about the story line. Read it yourself.

What scares the bejeuz out of me is the fact that this work of FICTION… I can see happening in today’s world all too easily. Replace the fictional characters with, oh say, Pence and Bannon…. yeah. Scary shit.

Maybe it’s the writing that makes it so believable. Weinberger was Secretary of Defense under Reagan. Schweizer is a Political Consultant as well as a top novelist. Both had the background to “keep it real” so to speak.

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February 17, 2017

The world is going crazy
certifiably insane
Greed and evil on the increase
Common Sense is on the wane.

There’s a man abusing power
Setting demons up as demi-gods
I’m losing faith this world of ours
Can survive long against these odds.

They are tearing down protections
Meant to keep the future bright
They are attacking Sacred spaces
Claiming they have the right.

They don’t care about the future
Not our planet’s nor of our kind
The arrogance and greed I see
Daily blows my mind.

I can only do my best
To call for sanity’s return.
Shed countless tears until I have no more,
As the world continues to burn.

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Jaunary 31, 2017

It’s rare when I can’t come up with some bit o’ fluff ramble; some light daydream to scribble down.

This weekend, I couldn’t do it. I could barely write a blog post. I’ve been depressed, distressed, and disgusted the past few days. Mostly by Trump, and Bannon. (And just who the hell IS Bannon? What is his official title? What are his qualifications?) I am afraid for my daughter’s future, when a man who brags about sexually harassing women is in the Oval Office. Yes, I worry about Mom, me and Nick; but we are older. Meriah’s future is much longer, or should be. So I worry more for her. I am her mother: my child’s future is more important to me.

Sunday was a study in contrasts. We had the TV on all day, watching the Telethon for the Center for the Disabled. A great display of people who care about other people, if they know them or not, and a community joining together to help. I’ve seen that sense of community in the 518 so often, and it’s always made me proud: People supporting the children, the pets, those who have suffered or are suffering through no fault of their own.

And on the other end of the spectrum, Trump’s ban on people traveling here from certain predominately Muslim countries. He mentioned 9/11 several times…. but none of the 9/11 terrorists came from the countries under ban. He has no hard evidence of a threat from these banned countries. If he wants to cite 9/11, then why isn’t Saudi Arabia on the ban? 15 of the terrorists from 9/11 were from Saudi Arabia. Ah….. but Trump has business ties with Saudi Arabia, and several other countries in that same area of the world, but NOT with the countries he listed.  He said refugees and immigrants need to be vetted. Yes, I agree. But to detain and deny people who already have Green Cards, and Permanent Residency Visas? They HAVE already been vetted! Several put their lives on the line, and the safety of their families, to help US Troops on foreign soil.. And you DO NOT handcuff a five year old child, separate that child from family, and hold him alone and probably terrified for several hours! You don’t pressure people who are just starting to learn English to sign paperwork they don’t understand, not allow them legal counsel…. and steal their rights. That is unethical, inhumane, barbaric and unlawful. It is what I would expect of the radical Islamic enemy, not my own country. I had hoped that my country had learned from its mistakes of earlier conflicts (WWII and Vietnam spring to mind).

Ah, but wait. I am learning not to expect good ethics,humanity, intelligence or sanity from the current regime. Trump has slapped gag orders on agencies because they report facts he doesn’t agree with. He fired Sally Gates because she knew her job better than he cared that she should: her job was NOT to rubber-stamp his multitude of Executive Orders. His actions and reactions are not those of a mature, intelligent adult; they are the temper tantrums of a spoiled brat being told ‘No.’

And people are okay with it! They see nothing wrong with his random targets, citing the list came from Obama. These are the same people who claimed Obama wasn’t doing his job, and had a hidden agenda. I am expected to believe that NOW Trump and co. trust Obama’s judgement enough to act on a list e compiled? Or has that claim been made in an effort to shut up those of us who are questioning it?

No, I will NOT shut up. I can’t. For the sake of my country, which I love, and my daughter’, who is my biggest reason for forcing myself to deal with the ugly in this world; I CANNOT be silent, or stop questioning. For the legacy of the women who came before me: demanding the vote, demanding the right to control our own bodies, demanding equality…. I CANNOT be silent or stop questioning. For my daughter’s future in a world that seems uglier every time I turn around, and one she may well end up forced to face alone… I CANNOT be silent or stop questioning.



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So, to get away from the nightmare of the first week of the new President, the Kidling and I are watching the Miss Universe Pageant. (Shut it. I KNOW the Lunatic Orange has ties to it. I chose to ignore that while watching.)
Most of the dresses, swimsuits, and national costumes were pretty good. A few… I cringed. France looked like a Vegas showgirl. She continued that theme into the evening gown competition, wearing a see-thru creation that caught all male eyes.
Then came the questions. And Kenya got blind-sided, being asked about Trump’s first week in office.

HONESTLY? These young women have been in Manila for the past few weeks. If they are paying attention to news, I’d guess it would be from their own homes, and what is going on right around them. That wouldn’t have been a fair question for Miss USA, let alone Miss Kenya!

I’d like to say if Columbia wins, I’d consider this rigged. Truth is, she is a beautiful young woman with a brain in her head, so I’m not sure I can say that. Right now, I am cheering for Haiti, tho. There is a woman who has it together. Miss France gave a very politically correct answer on refugees… and ignored the fact her own country has slammed that door, and is paying a high price for not having a better vetting system in place to begin with.

I still think Kenya and Philippines got rooked….and probably deliberately.

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Prom Dress Season

It’s that time of year when teen aged girls look for their perfect prom dress. It can be fun….but it can also be terribly stressful.

The Kidling will be 18 in three weeks. She is a Senior this year, and wants very much to attend her Prom. She doesn’t mind going alone.  She just wants to go and have fun with her classmates. 33 years ago, I asked a friend of mine to go with me. I was dating someone at the time, but he was in the Navy… not only might he not have been allowed to attend because of his age (23, I think) he couldn’t have gotten leave for a prom…. and his sister got married the same weekend, in a different state.

No, for the Kidling, what could be the deal-breaker … and the heart-break … is the dress.

Like me, my daughter is short, big chested, and over-weight. She doesn’t want a dress that looks like it came from the local tent maker, nor one that makes her feel uncomfortable about her body. Originally, she wasn’t even going to consider a strapless gown, for fears of a “wardrobe malfunction”. Earlier this week, she had a complete breakdown, convinced there was no way she’d find a dress that fits properly, looks good, and is within our budget. I understand her fears. I’ve been through that. It actually hurts me more now, watching HER deal with that than it did back when I was dealing with it myself. And honestly, I think it is harder these days than it was when I was 18.

When I was 18, a size 16 was ‘large’, a size 18 was ‘extra large’ and plus sizes STARTED at 20. These days, a size 12 is considered ‘large’ and anything from 16 up is ‘plus size’. Honestly? That is screwed up. Most healthy females are NOT under a size 8. And it seems the sizes aren’t even consistent.

Then there’s the ads. We’ve been looking on-line, to get ideas. Even dresses that supposedly come in sizes 20 to 30 are shown on size 12 models, some of whom appear to have A-cup bra sizes. How a dress looks on someone like that will not reflect how the same dress will look on a larger girl … or how well it will cover “the ladies”.

The Kidling is back on an even keel now, and looking forward to actually going and trying on some dresses this weekend. It still upsets me that she ever felt so depressed about her body shape. She is a beautiful, fun, loving, intelligent, imaginative, creative young woman, and I am proud to say she is my daughter.

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Good Bye 2016

The last day of another year. As we head int 2017, I try to gather my thoughts into some semblance of organized coherence. It’s not easy. The ups and downs of 2016 have on occasion left me dizzy. The hopes and fears for the year ahead at times threatens my stomach with ulcers.

We have lost a list of talented, much loved and/or respected people this year now behind us. Some loses affected me personally more than others. I will not apologize for crying or silently or not so silently mourning their passing. I will not apologize for shedding tears for those whose names I never knew, either. Some of them lived long and productive lives, and for them, Death came gently like an old friend. Too many died too soon, in my opinion, while they still had so much to offer and share.

We had a Presidential Election that reminded me more of a fight breaking out in a nursery school playground. Actually, children tend to behave better than the supposed-adults who ran for office, or campaigned for those who ran for office. And I really didn’t see much choice between the two major candidates we finally got down to.

Babies have been born; couples married; loved ones lain to rest. That is all part of the Circle of Life. We cannot change it.

We can only change ourselves, and influence the world around us. Hopefully, we choose to do so in positive manners, to benefit the complex  living organism that is this Planet Earth.

2016 is done and over. I can only cherish the brighter memories, learn from the mistakes, mourn the dead, and continue forward.

But never before have I been so leery of what the future had in store for me, my family, my friends, my country and my planet. Never before have I been so concerned about the ability of the Warriors sworn to protect this wonderful living spaceship to discharge their chosen duty with honor and success.

In a fever for something new and outside the great political wheel, a man with no real experience in building LASTING positivity has been elected as President. He sounds like a raving lunatic when others disagree with him or he doesn’t get his own way in things. His choices for his cabinet… people who, for the most part, seem to me to hold positions that are in direct conflict with their proposed seats.

I no longer trust the impartiality of major media outlets. I fear what kind of world my daughter will be stepping into as an adult.


On a personal level, I have stagnated. I am no better or worse than I was last year, or the year before, or the year before that. This house needs work we cannot afford, and can’t really do ourselves. I have a job that barely pays the bills, and it’s future is uncertain. All job futures are uncertain, in my opinion. And that frightens me for myself, my friends, my child, and future generations.

We are poisoning our world in so many ways, on so many levels, I really wonder how much longer we as a species can survive.

Good bye, 2016. Not sure you’ll be all that missed.

Come ahead, 2017. Let’s see what you’ve got.

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