Email Scams…or How DUMB do you really think I am??

We all get them: the tearfully pathetic attempts by foreigners to scam us out of money by promising us even more. And when I say pathetic… boy, do I mean PATHETIC!

Here’s the latest to show up in my inbox:

Dear Beloved,

I know that this letter may be a very big surprise to you, I came across your email contact from my personal search and I instructed the doctor here in these hospital to help me email you and I believe that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before I will die.

I am Mrs. Elisabeth Morgan from United Kingdom but presently in Marbella Spain. And I am 69 years old, suffering from a long time cancer of the breast. From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, and my doctors have courageously advised me that I may not live beyond the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a critical stage. I was brought up in a motherless baby’s home, and was married to my late husband John Edward for twenty years without a child.

My husband and I are true Christians, we lived all lives in Marbella in Spain, since he was working here as a contractor, but quite unfortunately, and he died in a fatal motor accident. Since his death I decided not to re-marry and because of my bad stage of health, I sold all my inheritance and deposited all the total sum of $12.8million dollars with a Vault company here in the Madrid Spain, because it is capital.

Presently this money is still in the Vault company., and the management of the Vault company just wrote me as the Legitimate beneficiary to come forward to receive the money after keeping it for so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over as a result of my illness, or they get it confiscated. I? With a laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment which i use with the assistance of the nurses and my doctor around. I have since lost my ability to talk properly and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.

It is my last wish to see that this my hard earn money is invested in any organization of your choice and distributed each year among the charities organization, the poor and the motherless baby’s home where I came from. I want your good humanitarian, to also use these money to fund churches, orphanages and widows within your reach.

I must let you know that this was a very hard decision, but I had to take a bold step towards this issue because I have no further option, I hope you will help see my last wish come true.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Vault Company in Madrid Spain. I will also issue a letter of authority to the Vault Company, which will prove that you are the new beneficiary of my funds. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

If you are interested, do contact me on my private Email Address: (deleted for safety)

Hope to hear from you soonest and the peace of they Lord be with you and your family.

Yours dying sister in Christ,

Mrs. Elisabeth Morgan.


Let’s take a look at why NO ONE who has a functioning brain is going to fall for this, shall we?

The grammar SUCKS. Sentence structure, word usage…. the writer is not a native speaker of either American OR the Queen’s English. And yet, she claims to be English, living in Spain. Of course, less than a handful of sentences later, she also claims she and her husband have spent their entire lives in Spain… so I suppose that’s a judgement call. Still, last time I checked, Breast Cancer was Breast Cancer, not “cancer of the breast” And it isn’t all that courageous for a team of doctors to tell you that you’re dying of cancer…. it is their JOB to tell you what is happening with your body.

Moving on… woman claims to be 69, married for 20 years with no child to show for it. Well, gee…. you get married at 49, and it IS a wee bit doubtful you’re going to have a child. We women only have so many eggs in the system, and by that age, a lot of us are heading for menopause, if we haven’t already hit it.

Depositing all of her money in a holding company/ bank (This is an assumption on my part…. Vault companies tend to be those who make one of two items in my experience: safes or burial vaults) To the best of my knowledge as long as the person whose name is on the paperwork is still alive, and any applicable taxes are taken care of, they cannot close your account and distribute the funds elsewhere, . If this woman died without a will, then the lawyers would be involved.

And the lack of research into who this scam letter goes out to is probably the biggest joke. I am not Christian, so I most assuredly am not a sister in Christ to this writer (who probably isn’t actually a woman) Being Pagan, I tend to just shrug such claims off. Not sure what my Jewish friends would think. And I so do not WANT to know what a devout Muslim would say about such a claim.

Do people who have a firm base in the English language actually fall for these poorly crafted paragraphs of crap?


About Mad Annie, Bronwyn, Ann

I am a wife.mother, writer, cashier (hey, it helps pay the bills), Pagan who sometimes thinks too much. A jackie of all trades and mistress of none
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2 Responses to Email Scams…or How DUMB do you really think I am??

  1. oldwolfmcmlxiii says:

    Its called playing on greed

  2. LAMarcom says:

    It has been soooo long since I have received one of these delightful emails. They are great entertainment. I kind of miss them.
    Used to get loads from Nigeria. Why Nigeria anyhow? I mean nothing against Nigeria, but seems even less plausible if that is possible.

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