(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!)

{Thank you, Monty Python!}

The spam I am talking about, however, has nothing to do with the Monty Python skit. It is the unsolicited, often bizarre collection of junk e-mail and “Plz add me so we can chat” requests I get on my messenger. Some people are obviously so desperate to hook a sucker, they can’t be bothered to do any homework at all….not to mention, using translation programs that actually mangle the English language. Those requesting to be added to my messenger list don’t even bother to pay attention to my profile, if they even read it at all. (It says if you don’t have a profile, and I don’t know you in real life, DO NOT ASK!)

When I first got online, back in 1997, I thought it was bad enough when people would assume my screen name was masculine, and think I was male. Getting hit on by other women is only a compliment when I know they are lesbian, and they know I am female. So all the emails trying to entice me into an affair with “bored housewives in your area!” are barking so totally up the wrong tree. Enlarge my penis? Really? I find dealing with my 44D quite enough, thanks.And sending me stuff in Arabic? Don’t assume anyone else speaks a language that’s only been used in my country with any regularity for about the last 60 years, and still only in limited form. You want to transfer money over here? Use a bank. You want to donate money to a “Christian” for charity use? Use a church. And don’t tell me I WON something, but I have to pay for it. It doesn’t work that way. My parents and grandparents didn’t raise/help raise ANY fools. And I am not exactly the most trusting of souls, for a variety of reasons. You ask for money, pictures, me to view your pictures, etc,,,ect,,, You are dumber than you wish I was.

Every once in a while, it can still be amusing to see what these idiots are trying for. I have a friend who even writes back on occasion, totally taking the mickey. I get another one trying to sell me spells, and I might just lambaste their backsides to the Web wall!


About Mad Annie, Bronwyn, Ann

I am a wife.mother, writer, cashier (hey, it helps pay the bills), Pagan who sometimes thinks too much. A jackie of all trades and mistress of none
This entry was posted in Good Manners, life on the internet and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to SPAM!

  1. LAMarcom says:

    Love this Annie.
    Hey! By the way! I have a bridge for sale: Only Five bucks. Interested?
    Just pay the extra shipping and handling…

  2. LAMarcom says:
    July 24, 2014 at 7:20 pm (Edit)
    Hey! I’ll throw in an autographed photo of Jesus.
    How could you refuse?
    That comment may condemn me to…. that bad place.

    Not being Christian, that isn’t even remotely a draw, my friend!

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