Holiday Blues

This is NOT a good day. It didn’t start too badly: the Kidling and I had to be up early to go grocery shopping with Mom, and we were. Then the car wouldn’t start. D was on his way out to work, so he called his father to come give us a jump.

Before that would even begin to work, I had to take Nick’s car over to Berg to get oil and antifreeze. The Pathfinder was bone dry. Yeah, I am supposed to be keeping an eye on the fluids, since I am driving it the most, and I forgot. That was $30 gone from what I planned to spend on food.

Okay, I figured I could still get what I needed. I had lots of coupons, and our Holiday 10% bonus off of one shop. We needed just about everything for baking.  Kidling asked for eggnog. We needed some meat. I still ended up $10 short. Mom covered it. I wanted to cry. We get out to the car, load everything…. and I couldn’t get the car to start. THAT did it. I DID start crying. Mom got the damn thing started, and we came home.

I am tired of not having the money to get what my family needs/wants/deserves. I detest living paycheck to paycheck. I didn’t even really decorate this year, and that is so not like me. I love holiday decorations! But… I just feel defeated and lost and sick of it all right now. Have I mentioned I haven’t even shopped for presents yet?


Posted in Christmas, Family, Life, Seasons | 1 Comment

Oh Boy. Changes!

So I was without my computer for nearly two months…. then I lost all my links and passwords and stuff…And now I finally get back here, and NOTHING looks the same. I guess I will have to learn the new style, although it appears a bit daunting.

So, the Kidling is almost done with her first semester of college. COLLEGE! My baby will be nineteen in two months. I feel old. So many of my former classmates are GRANDPARENTS already!

With everything that has been going on around us these days, I sometimes feel over-whelmed, under pressure, confused, lost, and hopeless. This has contributed to an increase in my smoking over the last few months. I have GOT to stop that, since I can’t afford to continue…not financially or health-wise. So, I have decided that today is the first day of my life as a non-smoker. Since we got snow last night, and I didn’t want to drive much today…I have not gone racing to get a pack of cigarettes. Yes, I now have a headache and I am not in a good mood, but I have 20$ until payday, NO Christmas shopping done, and other things I want to do with my life and money. I just don’t want to end up packing the pounds back on in my effort to give up the tobacco and nicotine.

There are other things to write about, now I can re-access my account here, but I think I will save them for another post entirely.

Posted in Dietary Concerns, Family, health, Life, life on the internet, Raising a Girl, Saving Money | 1 Comment

Catching Up….Maybe?

Well, I’ve been without my own computer for two weeks. Nick put in a new video card, so let’s see how well that works.

This beautiful country of ours is 241 years old today. My grandmother, Margaret Kelleher Lear, would have been 102. And I had a little girl named Lily in my line at work who turned 2 today. I forget how old George M. Cohan would be……ah, 139. Happy Birthday to all you Yankee Doodle Dandies.


Well, without my computer, I have missed posting about Meriah’s Senior Awards night, her graduation, the visit from my mother-in-law and niece… and saying good-bye to a wonderful, blessed, loving woman: my Aunt Marie. To me, she was always “Aunt Bee” or “Aunt BeeBee”… guess I couldn’t say “Marie” too well when I was a little one.

Suffice to say, the last two weeks have been somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster… and a reminder of how much things change when you aren’t paying close attention. Robert and Michael are both grandfathers! And I believe Kelley is a grandmother…. and when did Joel and Brandon get to be so damn tall?

And when did holidays become more about retail sales and commerce than family and celebrations? When I was growing up, corner stores and grocery stores were maybe opened to 11 am or noon on holidays, so people could get their newspapers or last-minute extras or forgotten items. Places like Aames, Caldors, K-Marts… they didn’t open at all, believing holidays were about family time, not super-sales. Since the 4th of July was also Gram’s birthday, the family descended on Amenia for at least the day. We’d sit on the old stone wall at the top of the drive along 22 (South Street) to watch the parade, then hold our own parade in the long, semi-circle drive that swooped down to the old house. There are gates at the tops of the drive now… they look like cattle gates. And the old house has a new stone-look facing. Barely looked like the same building. But I am starting to stray into the contrasts between memories and what is there now, and I wanted to focus on the change in people…. society… What happened to us? Presidents’ Day, July 4th, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day….. they were set aside to remember IMPORTANT things: men who led this country selflessly, the day we said “NO MORE” to a mad king on a distant throne, the end of a long journey and start of a new and better life, the men and women who gave their all to defend the beliefs this country was founded on. I remember watching James Cagney as George M. Cohan in “Yankee Doodle Dandy”…. as much a celebration of Cohan’s love for this country as of his life in general. Flags flying high, bands playing, families TOGETHER. These are not days for rushing to the stores and supercenters to get the best deals on whatever! The commercialization of it all sickens me.

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Prom Night

Where has the time gone? My baby girl, my Geek Princess …. the one who was reading and UNDERSTANDING her father’s astronomy magazines at age 7…. is at her Senior Prom tonight, having fun with her friends.

It wasn’t the easiest day to get through. When we went to pick up her wristlet, floral was mobbed. But Adam did a wonderful job on it. Then we went to the hair salon.

I was NOT happy. I don’t think it should have taken as long as it did, and the stylist (NOT Erin, who cuts Meriah’s hair) seemed to have an attitude, and didn’t seem as confident about what she was doing as Erin said she was. That whole deal messed up our timing, and we had to rush to get home, get her dressed, and get up to the Elks Lodge to meet Brianna and get pictures… Nick managed to get three or four, and cut Bri out of one, and cut Bri’s head and Alexis’s head in half on another one. Meriah and Bri both have their phones and are taking pictures there. I came home with a migraine. I think I was far more upset than Meriah about the things that went wrong.

Most of the dresses looked wonderful. A few two pieced deals… Jess looked awesome in hers. One of the girls… I can’t believe her parents let her get it. The style is, in my opinion, far too old, too racy, for a girl under 21. It looked like a pearl-encrusted bra and a long skirt. I also blame the fashion industry for putting this crap out there, TARGETING teens… and then not getting why people are fed up with the sexing-up of our children.

Getting Meriah ready for prom brought back memories of my own. I went with a friend, David, who was a year behind me in school. At the time, the guy in my life was in the US Navy, and his sister was getting married the same night… in a different state. David and I rode with Rich and Karen, and Tom and Patty… and we met JD and Donna there. We had a good night… went bowling afterwards (bowling….in long skirts. And Donna had a HOOP SKIRT on!) Then stopped to get food before going home. It took me an hour to brush out my hair, because there was so much hairspray in it…. I looked like I’d just stepped out of my mother’s yearbook.

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Mice and Cardinals

Lately, I have been trying to figure out why there are mice in this house. They aren’t getting into the food…. there is no evidence they’re even trying. The only things we’ve found chewed on were some bags of papers in the Kidling’s room. I have traps all over, baited with peanut butter… and they’ve been ignored for two months now. Early this morning, I was in the bathroom, and a mouse ran right over my foot. (I have no idea how I didn’t wake the entire neighborhood, because, yes, I DID scream.)

Then this afternoon, I had a visitor of a different kind. I was sitting at my desk when a male Cardinal flew at the window next to me. He didn’t hit it….he hovered there, like some sort of Cardinal/hummingbird cross, then swooped down and landed in front of the house. A few moments later, and off he went.

Cardinals seem to be associated with the spirits of departed loved ones. I don’t know if the bird I saw was Dad checking in, or someone else. Mice are said to be connected with traversing the maze of life. Right now, I could maybe use the help… if I  could figure out the message.

Posted in Culture, Life, Pagan, Symbolism | Tagged , , | 2 Comments


Once again, my daughter and I were discussing the Lunatic Orange, and the similarities between him and certain fictional (mostly cartoon) characters. One of my acquaintances in the G.I.Joe fandom listed several between him and Cobra Commander about a month ago, right down to the pyramid schemes. Today, the Kidling and I realized he ALSO has a counter-part in the world of CAPTAIN PLANET. Actually, make that two. Looten Plunder, the heartless businessman who is only interested in his own profit; and Hoggish Greedly, who is only interested in his own comfort and desires. Granted, I don’t think he has the personality of Plunder. Plunder could be suave when he wanted to. The again, I’ve never actually met the Lunatic Orange, so I couldn’t say for sure. He’s had some beautiful women as his wife, but that could all boil down to what was in his bank account, rather than his charm. He is much more like Greedly to my mind… which doesn’t make the next four years a pleasant ponder.

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Entry Date 1 April 2017. No, NOT an April’s Fools Joke

Three months into the new administration, and I still see nothing good coming out of Washington. In fact, what I see is a nightmare for the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.

Currently, programs meant to safeguard America’s future, her vulnerable, and her natural beauty ans resources are under attack. The proposed budget includes massive cuts or complete defunding for Meals on Wheels, Planned Parenthood, Public Education, PBS, the EPA and National Parks… and the entire repeal/replacement of the ACA is a bloody mess.

In return, we the taxpayers are footing the bill for two presidential residences, Mar-Largo trips nearly every weekend (I think he’s missed two since the start of the year? Maybe three.) He plans to use our tax money to pay for his joke of a wall. Big Business, the oil industry, over-sized banking concerns…. all getting preferential treatment. More tax breaks are being formulated for the rich… who don’t damn well need them. We get to listen to a raving lunatic complaining about something THAT NEVER HAPPENED, while evidence is mounting he had foreign aid… from a country at odds to our very way of life… in getting in where he’s at. But he categorically denies that, of course.

I am not a political analyst. I don’t hold a PhD in anything, just an Associates in Applied Science. Sometimes, I have trouble  making ends meet. But I know enough to know what we are seeing now means BIG TROUBLE, and not just for the US.

What we need is smarter spending, not throwing more money into pits that show no signs of changing for the better. Instead of continually upping the salaries of life-long politicians, CAP THEM. Cut out the salaries-and-benefits-for-life deals. That money is better spent on our children, our vets, our elders, our land. Stop taking private lands for projects no one actually needs. Stop breaking treaties, opening parklands to be raped, and ignoring both the lessons of the past and the scientific data that shows us where we should be looking and heading for.

Invest in our future: education, innovation, alternative energy sources (RENEWABLE energy sources). Because once something is gone, it’s gone, and there is no bringing it back. Especially in an environment that sees science as a boogyman, to be derided and mocked and treated without regard, since it counters everything the current administration is spewing.

Posted in Culture, Current Events, Life, politics | Tagged , , | 2 Comments